“A true testament to the psychedelic Sixties but bringing it all back home with the camaraderie of the jolly working-class Nottingham city centre.”
It could be an ode to a Nottingham-inspired painting by Dame Laura Knight.
Instead, this is a description of the carpet inside Wetherspoon pub The Joseph Else, on Nottingham’s Old Market Square, and part of a strange trend for reviewing the chain’s decor online.
There are around 917 ‘Spoons’ – as the chain is colloquially known – around the UK, each with its own unique, rich tapestry.
And now a Facebook page has sprung up called ‘Wetherspoons Carpet Talk UK/EU’ – for punters to share, document and rate Spoons carpets with fellow enthusiasts, leading to a number of reviews of the carpets at the chain’s Nottingham establishments.
“I think some people are carpet enthusiasts – they know and love a carpet when they see one. It’s probably their hobby,” said Ben Houlton, a regular reviewer of the carpets whose most recent visit to a Wetherspoon pub was The Joseph Else on Saturday night.
“Others may have been there since since 10am and have become slightly bored with drinking pint-after-pint,” Ben added.
Ben was unimpressed by The Joseph Else’s purple carpet, rating it five out of ten. He wrote: “There was an element of depression reverberating from the demise of the City Ground, leading to the melancholy drinking experience I endured,” adding: “As for the carpet, it reminded me of a puckered [wrinkly] cloaca [anus]. A dreary 5/10.”
A Wetherspoon spokesman said he was unaware of the Facebook group – but said each carpet is made to order for each individual pub.
“Most companies have the same carpet in each pub. Wetherspoon is different and believes each pub should have its own identity, down to the carpet on the floor,” the spokesman told Notts TV News.
“Why do customers do it? Who knows – it seems fun, Wetherspoon joints are popular places to go and they [customers] couldn’t do this in any other set of pubs.”
Ollie Snell described The Joseph Else’s tapestry as “a fine specimen, nostalgically harking back the days of Barney the dinosaur with the colour scheme”.
He added: “A true testament to the psychedelic Sixties but bringing it all back home with the camaraderie of the jolly working-class Nottingham city centre. Fully comfortable enjoying libations whilst sitting on this impressive stitching. Even matches the seat covers, top craftsmanship. 9/10.”
The Gooseberry Bush, on Peel Street, has also had several reviews.
Ryan Green said: “By far my favourite Spoons: good staff, great chip chef, I have a strong emotional bond with this great boozer – which would result in financial debt if it weren’t for student loans.
“She [the pub] boasts a relatively modest carpet, in my view just what’s required for a ‘Wednesday down tempo ale’ kind of Spoons rather than a ‘racy Friday double-vodka Red Bull’ kind of establishment. 9/10 for its calming influence, and an ode to this fine example of Wetherspoon culture.”
Nathan Sanders was not quite as impressed, saying: “An aesthetically-pleasing but rough-to-the-touch carpet from this fine establishment.
“It embodies the free spirit of renaissance while juxtaposing the harsh reality of tower block Britain. The dolphin blue meets a muddy grey in an unsatisfying collision between contemporary and niche. Serviceable but could do better, 5.5/10.”
The Roebuck Inn’s carpet, St James’ Street, was described as “bland” and a “disappointment”.
Cameron Bailey said: “The bland, geometric design leaves much to be desired. The repetitive pattern reflects the dull monotony of Nottingham in the post-Brian Clough era. For a town famed for its intricate lace designs, this carpet is a disappointment for all who experience it. 3/10.”
Andrew Mitchell described the carpet at Lloyd’s No 1 Bar – also owned by the J D Wetherspoon plc company – in Carlton Street, as “bang average”, rating it five out of ten.
Ryan Green, meanwhile, said the tapestry at The Last Post, Beeston, was “disappointing”.
